Ole, Take It On Faith

Ole was walking through the mountains of Norway on his way to visit Lena. His mind more on that nights dinner than the path ahead, Ole slipped and slid over the edge of a nearby cliff. About 20 feet down and several hundred more feet to go, he frantically grabbed a bush and stopped his slide.

There he was, hanging by a bush, above certain death, and his hands began to perspire and tire almost immediately. "Is anyone up there?" Ole hollered.

"I'm here Ole," came the deep voice from above.

"Who's there? Can you help me?" Ole yelled back.

The voice answered, "It's the Lord, Ole. Let go and I will save you."

Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he looked at his slipping hands, and he looked down again, and he looked up again.

Finally, he yelled back up the side of the cliff, "Is anyone else up there?"

Do You Think Ole Waved As Lena Went By?

Ole and Lena went to a fair. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

"$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot.

"That's too much, " said Ole.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without making a sound, the ride will be free. But if I hear a peep from either of you, you'll have to pay $10."

Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride.

After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

"Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out!"

Way to Go Ole

Ole, Sven, and Lars came into the bar. They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort.

"Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued.

They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiousity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked.

"51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded.

"What did you do in 51 days?" he probed.

"Put the puzzle together," they replied, "51 days and the box said 3-5 years!"

Sven and Ole Need A Loan

Both Ole and Sven needed a loan so off they go to the bank. Sven went in first. "I want $10,000!"

"What do you do for a living?" asked the manager.

"I pilot!" said Sven.

"Well, that's a good profession" said the manager as he signed the banker's check.

Then Ole went in and said, "I want $10,000 too!"

"Well, what do you do for a living?" asked the manager.

"I'm a lumberjack," he replied.

"Well, I can't give a lumberjack that kind of money," said the manager.

"Well, if I don't cut the wood, Sven can't pile it!"

Ole's New Cell Phone

Ole was so excited to get a new cell phone, he decided to call when he was on his way home from town. He thumbed Lena's number as he turned on to the freeway.

"Lena put supper on, I'm on my way home."

Lena says, "Be careful because I hear some nut is driving the wrong way on the freeway."

"It's worse than that Lena: where I'm at there are a hundred cars going the wrong way!"

Ole and Sven Ice Fishing

Ole and Sven loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. Sven told Ole that he'd heard about a good lake, but they were going to need an ice pick. So off they go.

They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle, including a new ice pick.

In about two hours, Ole was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop blinked twice but he sold him the picks and Ole left.

In about an hour, Ole was back. He said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The fellow couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"How are we doing?" Ole said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet!"

Lena Can Hit the High Notes

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Sven inquired how she was doing with it.

"Oh, " said Ole, "I had her switch to a clarinet."

"How come?" asked Lars.

"Vell, " Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."

I Guess You Could Say Ole Went Bananas

Ole and Sven were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

"Have you eaten your banana yet?" Ole asked excitedly.

"No" replied Sven.

"Vell don't touch it den, " Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"