Thursday, January 26, 2012

But Are You Going to Offer Him a Nightcap?

Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern.

A Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. As they approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment.

He explained, "I want Lena to see who I have been out    with."

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Quickee Ole

Ole wore both of his winter jackets when he painted his house last July. The directions on the can said "put on two coats".

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Ole Thinks "Garnishment" is Something Italians Eat

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.

He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."

"Well, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And once in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

Thursday, January 5, 2012

As Long As the Engine's Off

Ole hears that Sven just bought a new truck, so he goes over to take a look at it. When he gets there, he sees dents all over the truck, and Sven sitting in the driveway behind the truck.

Ole says, “Sven, why did you buy a truck with dents?”

Sven says, “Oh, I made a real good deal. It got dented in a hailstorm, so the salesman gave me $50 off the price. And he said that all I have to do is blow on the tailpipe, and those dents will pop right out. But
I’ve been sitting here blowing on this tailpipe for two hours now, and I don’t think it's working.

Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! You have to close the windows first!”