Ole and Sven Write a Computer Virus

WARNING: Minnesota Computer Virus

We have yust sent you da "NORVEGIAN VIRUS".

Since ve do not haf any programming experience and do not know how to actually damage your computer, dis virus works on da honor system.

Please forward dis virus to everyone on your mailing list and den hit your hard drive with a hammer. Thank you for your cooperation.

Sven and Ole

Ole Saves Sven's Life. Or did he?

Ole and Sven went fishing one day.

Sven stood up to get some bait and he fell into the water.

Ole dove down and brought him back and performed mouth-to-mouth.

Then Ole said "Hey, Sven didn't have a blue sports coat. I wonder who this is?"

Ole Junior Ain't No Math Major

Ole Junior came running home from school one day crying.

"Mom" he asked, "I've got da biggest feet in third grade. Is that cuz I'm Norwegian?"

Lena said "No. It's because you're 19."

Sven and Ole Play a Guessing Game

Ole was carrying a bag of chickens when he came across Sven.

Sven asked "Ole, how many chickens in da bag?"

Ole said "If you can guess I'll give you both of them!"

Ole, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Ole walks up to church and the minister stops him, "Ole, where'd you get those two black eyes?"

Ole says, "In church, last Sunday, I sat behind this nice looking woman and her blouse was tucked in too tight, oooh, you could see some crack, not pretty. Didn't look good, no. So I pulled it up a little and she turned around and hit me in the eye!"

"But Ole, you have two black eyes."

"Ya, ya know, she didn't like it pulled up so I tucked it back in for her."

Ole's Spelling Bee

Lena dies and Ole goes to call the undertaker.

"Oh, yah, my wife Lena passed away and I'd like ya come collect the body."

The undertaker responds "Oh, Ole, I'm so sorry to hear, were do ya live?"

"One Two Three Sycamore Street."

"Ole how do ya spell Sycamore?"

Ole says: "S.... Ya know, I could drag her on over to Oak."

Lena's Wardrobe Malfunction

Ole comes home early and Lena quickly hides Sven in the closet. Ole walks in and asks why she's naked. Lena says "I have nothing to wear".

Ole goes to the closet and says, "But, here you have a red dress, blue dress, green dress, Sven, yellow dress..."

Ole and Lena on Gifts

Ole says, "Gee Lena, I get ya whatever you want, a new mink fur, a diamond and a big boat!"
Lena says "I want a divorce!"

Ole looks down "Oh, gee, I wasn't thinking to spend that much."