Well, At Least They Dusted It

Ole and Lena were at the Art Museum and Lena wanted to take Ole's picture. "Back up a bit Ole," said Lena.

So he did and knocked over a 2,000 year old ming vase. "Oh my, Ole, we have broken the vase and the curator is not going to be pleased at all!"

Sure as to her word the curator shows up and says to Ole: "Good grief, you have broken that Ming Vase...that was 2,000 years old...do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Ole says, "Thank goodness!!! I thought it was brand new."

But Was It 'Color By Numbers'?

Ole: "Did you hear about the tragedy at the main library in Oslo?"

Sven: "No. What happened Ole?"

Ole: "All the books were lost in a terrible fire. Both of them just blazed out of control! Worst part is one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. "

When Will Peterson Get Air Conditioning?

Sven and Ole were coming home late one night from the local bar. Worried that their wives would be furious with them for being so late, they decided to take a shortcut through the town cemetery. As they stumbled their way through the grounds, they decided to stop and rest. The town had just paid for the restoration of some of the tombstones, and several had been reset with the supporting wire attached to nearby trees. Now Sven and Ole just happend to stop close to a recently departed friends grave.

Sven saw the wire, turned to Ole and said: "Hey! Take a look at this! Peterson is doing real well now!"

"How do you know that?" asked Ole.

"Can't you see?" Sven answered, "Peterson has a phone installed already."

I Hope Sven Wants a Sunroof

Ole and Sven were taking a new vacation in Sven's new camper. As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes.

Ole: "What you do dat for, Sven?"

Sven: "Dat sign says "Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High. Dis here camper is thirteen feet!"

Ole: "Look here, Sven, there ain't no cops around. Hit the pedal and go for it!"

Little Ole Wasn't Quite What Big Ole Was Looking For?

Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could give birth to their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to inform him that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. However, the baby will be delivered Caesarian."

Ole started crying: "Vell, I'm glad it is a healthy baby...but I was kinda hoping it would be a Norwegian."

Would You Want Ole Peering Through Your Bedroom Window?

Ole was looking for a job and spied an ad that interested him in the paper.

"Help Wanted, Private Investigator, clear thinking type with lots of ambition."

Ole thought, "That's me all right," and went for the interview.

The interviewer started with a little small chat and sized Ole up pretty quickly. "Ole, just a few more questions and I think I can make a decision. First, what's one plus one?"

Ole thought and quickly replied with a smile, "11."

"Good answer Ole, now for one a little harder. What two days of the week start with a T?"

Now Ole was happy, cause he knew this one too, "Today and tomarrow," he replied.

The interviewer was a little startled. "Ok, Ole, ok, . . . How about, Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Ole was happy as a lark. He got up and left the interview. On his way home he ran into Sven.

Sven asked, " Ole how did the job interview go?"

Ole replied, "Great, I got the job. They've already put me on a case!!"

Sven's Deer

Ole and Sven were out deer hunting in Northern Minnesota. Sven shot a really nice buck and Ole was helping him pull it out of the woods. They had a rope tied to one of the hind hoofs and they were pulling and struggling, going through the deep snow with the other three legs sticking out and getting caught on every clump of brush and whatnot along the way.

About that time, the Game Warden came along. After checking their deer tag, he said, "You know, it would be alot easier if you tied the rope to the antlers and pulled him head first. Then the legs wouldn't get caught on everything."

Ole looked at Sven and said, "By golly, I think he's right."

The Game Warden went on his way and Ole and Sven re-tied the rope to the antlers and started pulling. It was a lot easier. After about twenty minutes, Sven said, "Ole, that Game Warden sure was right. This is a lot easier, but aren't we getting further away from the car?"

Lena and Ole are Moving Up In the World

Lena greeted Ole at the door of their apartment when he came home from work. "Guess vhat," said Lena. "Remember ve have been talking about getting a more expensive apartment?"

"Ya," said Ole. "Vhat about it?"

"Vell," said Lena, "now ve don't have to look. Da landlord yust raised da rent!"