I Think I Actually Said That When I Was Younger

Ole's boss had been invited to Ole and Lena's for supper. As Lena was setting the table, Ole's boss casually asked Little Ole what was being served for supper.

Little Ole said, "I think it is buzzard . . . because this morning Mama said to Papa, 'If we are going to have that old buzzard for supper, it might as well be tonight.

Just Don't Cross Lena

The teacher caught a daydreaming Little Ole off guard in history class when she suddenly asked, "Ole, what happened when Hannibal crossed the Alps with a hundred elephants?"

Ole said, "He got a mountain range that never forgets."

They Do Say God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

LITTLE OLE had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

"Fine," said Lena, his pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not to misbehave, he will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask him to help me not to misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked him to help you put up with me."

Be Careful What You Pray For

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from a pew in the front row. It was little Ole. His mother Lena beside him was horrified.

She pinched him to silence, and after church asked: "Ole, whatever made you do such a thing?"

Ole answered gingerly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He just did!"

I Wonder What He Thought About Stuffed Cabbage?

Lena and Ole and Little Ole were invited to the Swenson's for Christmas.

Stuffed roast turkey was on the menu. After dinner, Lena asked Little Ole how he liked the dinner.

Little Ole replied,  "Vell, da turkey was pretty good, but I vasn't too crasy about da stuff da turkey ate."

Little Ole Is the Original Bart Simpson

The Preacher conversed with Little Ole one sunny day:

"So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?"

Ole answered, "Thank God he's in bed!"

Little Ole Wasn't Quite What Big Ole Was Looking For?

Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could give birth to their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to inform him that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. However, the baby will be delivered Caesarian."

Ole started crying: "Vell, I'm glad it is a healthy baby...but I was kinda hoping it would be a Norwegian."

Does This Qualify As Creationism?

Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. He had a puzzled look on his face as he considered the assignment that was due--writing an essay about his origin. He turned to question his mother.

"Mama, vere did Grandma come from?" he asked.

"Da stork brought her, " answered mama Lena.

"And vere did yew come from?" asked Little Ole.

"Da stork brought me, " his mother answered.

"And vere did I come from?" Little Ole inquired.

"Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew, " mama Lena replied.

With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been no natural births in our family for three yenerations."

Maybe He Should Have Tooted Louder

Sven was taking his hotrod for a spin when he saw little Ole trying to peddle his bicycle up a long steep hill. He decided to have some fun and told his nephew that he had a rope and could pull him up the hill. Little Ole agreed and Sven told him the he would go slow. He also told him that if he went too fast that little Ole should toot at him with his bicycle horn mounted on the handle bars.

Sven started out slowly but little by little picked up speed. When he got going too fast for little Ole to jump off he decided to have some real fun. He put the gas peddle to the floor and let the engine go wide open. As they went over the top of the hill there was a police car on the other side with a radar unit.

The officer radioed in, "Sarge, You won't believe this. I just clocked that crazy Sven in his hotrod going a hundred and ten."

The Sargent replied, " What's so hard to believe about that?"

The patrol officer then said, "Little Ole was on a bicycle behind him tooting his horn so he can pass!"

Ole and Family in da Twin Cities

Ole, Lena, and little Ole went to the big city for the first time.

They were walking down the street and looking in the department store windows when Ole Jr. spotted something that caught his eye and ran into a building.

Big Ole and Lena followed him. There they all stood in front of a shiny metal door that was cut into a wall of black marble. A chubby, elderly, gray haired lady walked up and pushed a button on the wall next to the door. The door opened and she walked into the little room behind the shiny door. The door closed and the numbers above the door counted up and then down again. The shiny doors opened and a beautiful young lady walked out.

Ole Jr. said, "What kind of machine is dat, Dad?"

Big Ole replied, "I don't know little Ole, but push dat button and shove your Ma in!"

Ole Junior Ain't No Math Major

Ole Junior came running home from school one day crying.

"Mom" he asked, "I've got da biggest feet in third grade. Is that cuz I'm Norwegian?"

Lena said "No. It's because you're 19."