But they're making great time!

Ole and Sven are out deer hunting. Ole bags a buck.

After they dress the deer and tag it, they grab it by its hind legs and start dragging through the woods back to the car. A game warden happens on the pair and, after checking their tags and admiring the buck tells them that they are dragging the deer out all wrong. By dragging it by the rear legs, the snow, leaves and dirt are getting caught by the animals fur, and the horns are getting all tangled in the brush. The warden suggests that they drag it by the front legs. They agree to try it and much to their surprise, it is much easier dragging the deer this way.

After a half hour of this Sven turns to Ole and says, "Boy dat game warden was right, it sure is easier dragging de deer dis way, but ya know, we are getting further away from de car."

I Wonder What They Said to The Guy Running the Zamboni?

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

Now That's Sign Even I Can Follow

One day Ole went hunting with an Indian and a professional hunting guide. So the indian goes out hunting and comes back with a deer. The hunter asked him how he caught this great deer. The Indian replied, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, I shot the deer."

The next day the hunter went out hunting and came back with an even bigger deer. Ole asked him how he caught such a great deer, and the hunter replied, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, I shot the deer."

The next day Ole went out hunting and came back all bloody, with broken bones. The hunter and the indian asked him what happened. He replied,"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, I got hit by a train."

Sven's Deer

Ole and Sven were out deer hunting in Northern Minnesota. Sven shot a really nice buck and Ole was helping him pull it out of the woods. They had a rope tied to one of the hind hoofs and they were pulling and struggling, going through the deep snow with the other three legs sticking out and getting caught on every clump of brush and whatnot along the way.

About that time, the Game Warden came along. After checking their deer tag, he said, "You know, it would be alot easier if you tied the rope to the antlers and pulled him head first. Then the legs wouldn't get caught on everything."

Ole looked at Sven and said, "By golly, I think he's right."

The Game Warden went on his way and Ole and Sven re-tied the rope to the antlers and started pulling. It was a lot easier. After about twenty minutes, Sven said, "Ole, that Game Warden sure was right. This is a lot easier, but aren't we getting further away from the car?"

Ole and Sven Come Back from a Fishing Trip

Ole and Sven went on an expensive fishing trip and returned with only one fish.

"The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400," said Sven.

"Vell," replied Ole, "At dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more."

Ole and Sven Ice Fishing

Ole and Sven loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. Sven told Ole that he'd heard about a good lake, but they were going to need an ice pick. So off they go.

They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle, including a new ice pick.

In about two hours, Ole was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop blinked twice but he sold him the picks and Ole left.

In about an hour, Ole was back. He said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The fellow couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"How are we doing?" Ole said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet!"

I Wonder What Sven Was Using For Bait

Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish, catching one fish after the other.

Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy."

Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?"

Ole laughed, "But Sven, what if we don't rent the same boat next time?"

At Least There's No Wind, Right Ole?

Ole and his buddy Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There's no fish under the ice."

Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There's no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up.

Ole said, "Are you God?"

The voice spoke back, "No, the ice rink attendant."